I learn funny things at funny times. I’m using “funny” in the “this milk smells funny” sense instead of the more common “that guy just got hit in the gonads, hahahahaaaa man that’s rich” sense. That is, it’s peculiar when and where I learn things.
Take emotional pain. I’ve just recently learned that emotional pain, much like physical pain, doesn’t go away just because you don’t feel like recognizing it. I’m not sure if anyone else has this misconception, but I was under the impression that it did, go away that is.
I received this particularly obvious epiphany while trying to work today. I say trying because I wasn’t doing a very good job at it. I was distracted. Exactly why I was distracted is beyond the scope of this post.* Suffice to say I was experiencing the side effects of emotional pain. I couldn’t shake it, couldn’t ignore it, couldn’t make it go away by diving deeper and deeper into work. The fact is, the pain was real, and ignoring real things tends to be counterproductive.
I often wonder what life would be like if we applied the logic we use on our emotions to the rest of our lives. I figure it’d go something like this:
Concerned friend: Uh, Bob?
Bob: Yeah?
Concerned friend: It looks like you have a bone sticking out of your leg.
Bob: What? No, I’m fine. Really. Watch.
(Here Bob proceeds to try to hop on his leg, the one with the compound fracture, and collapses into a sobbing heap.
Bob (between sobs): See, told you I was fine.
Concerned friend: Oh. Well, glad to see you’re doing alright.
My example seems asinine, but how often do we do that with our emotions? I do it a fair bit. I usually regret it later. Hopping on a compound fracture is, simply put, a dumb idea.
So, the question is, if you can’t make emotional pain go away by ignoring it, how do you make it go away? From the depths of my wisdom, I give you this answer: I have absolutely no idea. If pressed, I’d say that it takes time, and that you can’t rush it, but that you can probably function admirably well with a fair deal of emotional scars if push really came to shove. I’d say all that if pressed, but I’d probably add that you should ice it, keep it elevated, and possibly put a splint on it. I tend to give poor quality answers when pressed.
So, to summarize: 1. Emotions are real. 2. So is emotional pain. 3. Ignoring real things is stupid.
* “Beyond the scope of this (insert document here)” is a pretty common phrase in technical documents. It means, roughly translated, “you’re probably curious about this, but if you don’t already know, I ain’t telling ya, so pfffttt!” So, the next time you’re waist deep in a technical manual and you read that phrase, just know that the author is really giving you the raspberry.
Take emotional pain. I’ve just recently learned that emotional pain, much like physical pain, doesn’t go away just because you don’t feel like recognizing it. I’m not sure if anyone else has this misconception, but I was under the impression that it did, go away that is.
I received this particularly obvious epiphany while trying to work today. I say trying because I wasn’t doing a very good job at it. I was distracted. Exactly why I was distracted is beyond the scope of this post.* Suffice to say I was experiencing the side effects of emotional pain. I couldn’t shake it, couldn’t ignore it, couldn’t make it go away by diving deeper and deeper into work. The fact is, the pain was real, and ignoring real things tends to be counterproductive.
I often wonder what life would be like if we applied the logic we use on our emotions to the rest of our lives. I figure it’d go something like this:
Concerned friend: Uh, Bob?
Bob: Yeah?
Concerned friend: It looks like you have a bone sticking out of your leg.
Bob: What? No, I’m fine. Really. Watch.
(Here Bob proceeds to try to hop on his leg, the one with the compound fracture, and collapses into a sobbing heap.
Bob (between sobs): See, told you I was fine.
Concerned friend: Oh. Well, glad to see you’re doing alright.
My example seems asinine, but how often do we do that with our emotions? I do it a fair bit. I usually regret it later. Hopping on a compound fracture is, simply put, a dumb idea.
So, the question is, if you can’t make emotional pain go away by ignoring it, how do you make it go away? From the depths of my wisdom, I give you this answer: I have absolutely no idea. If pressed, I’d say that it takes time, and that you can’t rush it, but that you can probably function admirably well with a fair deal of emotional scars if push really came to shove. I’d say all that if pressed, but I’d probably add that you should ice it, keep it elevated, and possibly put a splint on it. I tend to give poor quality answers when pressed.
So, to summarize: 1. Emotions are real. 2. So is emotional pain. 3. Ignoring real things is stupid.
* “Beyond the scope of this (insert document here)” is a pretty common phrase in technical documents. It means, roughly translated, “you’re probably curious about this, but if you don’t already know, I ain’t telling ya, so pfffttt!” So, the next time you’re waist deep in a technical manual and you read that phrase, just know that the author is really giving you the raspberry.
Comments
I like to be accurate about my wrongness.
Hope the healing keeps coming...
Yeah, sometimes I wish emotional pain was as obvious as a compound fracture. And yup, it's usually (though not always) better to confront the problem right on. The unnamed situation in question was actually the aftershocks of such an action. I figured that if I talked it over it would go away right away. I was wrong about the right away bit.
Jeff,
Any kind of bee, or is it a special bee?
Deana,
I'm more apt to deal with stuff by myself than ask for help. That'll break me someday if I keep it up.
Thanks for the concern.
(((hugs)))
In a totally platonic way, okay?
Thanks. I'm actually feeling quite a bit better since when I wrote that.
And, of course, I take all sorta-anonymous cyberspace delivered hugs in the platonic fashion that they were sent.