I’ve been thinking lately on why we do what we do. This post will probably sound a little similar to some others I’ve written recently. I seem to be stuck in a bit of a mental loop. A lot of what I write here I write so that I’ll understand it better. I learn a lot by trying to support an opinion in writing. So if I get a little repetitive now and then, it just means I’m confused.
Anyway, a few friends and I were having a conversation the other day on motive. The details of said conversation aren’t important. What is important, at least within the confines of this post, is that we decided that if you’re motivated by love, you’re not doing half bad. I’ve been thinking about that, and I think it’s on the right track but not really a complete answer.
You see, it’s possible to do very bad things in the name of love. The love of money and power have cost many good people their lives through wars and petty squabbles. But that might be too easy an example. Your knee jerk reaction to that might be to say, “Nobody goes around praising the love of money and power.” Have you watched TV lately? Or walked through the self-help aisle in your local bookstore? Our media is practically brimming over with how to get rich and stay rich, how to empower yourself, how to lead your multi-billion dollar corporation, and how to feel good while doing all of that.
But you’re probably right. It’s not a terribly moving example, so I’ll pick one a bit more controversial. How about romantic love? Eros in the Greek, lauded by poets, sung about by countless musicians, and praised in literature from soft cover romance novels to the Bible itself. This, then, must be a love that a man can get behind. This, then, must be a love that can motivate you in only good ways.
Except, of course, that it can’t. Everyone knows about Romeo and Juliet. They were a couple of hormonal teenagers who destroyed their whole families based on their powerful, unyielding, selfish love for each other. You see, romantic love is inherently selfish. There is an undeniable aspect of “mine” to the whole concept. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problems start when a man forsakes his family, his community, and his faith out of single minded devotion to his wife or girlfriend. Men and women run rough-shod over people they’ve loved for years because of this love. There’s a reason that romantic love is a favorite motivation for people who write tragedies.
Love of friends, family, country, and the like all have similar problems. What we need, then, is a love that encompasses them all, that stretches out great arms and embraces the world. We need a love that cares for the murderer as much as the murdered, the rich as much as the poor, the weak as much as the strong. We need a love without fetters, without conditions, without bounds. The Greek name for this insane, incomprehensible love is Agape (ah-gah-pay). When the Bible talks about God loving his children (that’s us, by the way), it uses that word for love.
If we want proper motivation, if we want to act as we really should act in a perfect world, that’s the kind of love that should motivate us. Sadly, this isn’t a perfect world, and we’re not perfect people. I’m no more capable of loving with this boundless love that I am of flying.
So what’s a guy to do?
Here’s my theory: we love God first and the rest follows. We are transformed by those we love. They change, in a very real way, how we view ourselves and the world around us. By loving God, we become more like Him, and, by extension, live and love better.
But, like I said, it’s only a theory.
Anyway, a few friends and I were having a conversation the other day on motive. The details of said conversation aren’t important. What is important, at least within the confines of this post, is that we decided that if you’re motivated by love, you’re not doing half bad. I’ve been thinking about that, and I think it’s on the right track but not really a complete answer.
You see, it’s possible to do very bad things in the name of love. The love of money and power have cost many good people their lives through wars and petty squabbles. But that might be too easy an example. Your knee jerk reaction to that might be to say, “Nobody goes around praising the love of money and power.” Have you watched TV lately? Or walked through the self-help aisle in your local bookstore? Our media is practically brimming over with how to get rich and stay rich, how to empower yourself, how to lead your multi-billion dollar corporation, and how to feel good while doing all of that.
But you’re probably right. It’s not a terribly moving example, so I’ll pick one a bit more controversial. How about romantic love? Eros in the Greek, lauded by poets, sung about by countless musicians, and praised in literature from soft cover romance novels to the Bible itself. This, then, must be a love that a man can get behind. This, then, must be a love that can motivate you in only good ways.
Except, of course, that it can’t. Everyone knows about Romeo and Juliet. They were a couple of hormonal teenagers who destroyed their whole families based on their powerful, unyielding, selfish love for each other. You see, romantic love is inherently selfish. There is an undeniable aspect of “mine” to the whole concept. There’s nothing wrong with that. The problems start when a man forsakes his family, his community, and his faith out of single minded devotion to his wife or girlfriend. Men and women run rough-shod over people they’ve loved for years because of this love. There’s a reason that romantic love is a favorite motivation for people who write tragedies.
Love of friends, family, country, and the like all have similar problems. What we need, then, is a love that encompasses them all, that stretches out great arms and embraces the world. We need a love that cares for the murderer as much as the murdered, the rich as much as the poor, the weak as much as the strong. We need a love without fetters, without conditions, without bounds. The Greek name for this insane, incomprehensible love is Agape (ah-gah-pay). When the Bible talks about God loving his children (that’s us, by the way), it uses that word for love.
If we want proper motivation, if we want to act as we really should act in a perfect world, that’s the kind of love that should motivate us. Sadly, this isn’t a perfect world, and we’re not perfect people. I’m no more capable of loving with this boundless love that I am of flying.
So what’s a guy to do?
Here’s my theory: we love God first and the rest follows. We are transformed by those we love. They change, in a very real way, how we view ourselves and the world around us. By loving God, we become more like Him, and, by extension, live and love better.
But, like I said, it’s only a theory.
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