Tear stained words and battle hardened faith

Christianity is a faith full of hard questions and harder answers. It is not a faith that can be taken in one hour chunks on Sunday mornings. In all honesty, it's a faith I struggle with. I want to share one particular struggle with you, one enigma that, in the past, has kept me awake at night searching for answers. Before I share that with you, I just want to say that it's okay to struggle. It's okay to wrestle with this amazing faith. Not only that, it's necessary. We grow through struggle. We grow through asking question after question. We grow through pain. If you don't push your body, you'll grow weak. If you don't challenge your mind, you'll grow simple. If you don't challenge your faith, it will die.

My struggle:

Psalm 91 says, "If you make the Most High your dwelling... then no harm will befall you." I have trouble believing that. There's a running theme of bad things happening to good people in this world. Look at Stephen (from the book of Acts). He was a saint. Not the "we're all saints" kind of saint, but the "walked with God" kind. And he got pummelled to death with stones while the Apostle Paul (called Saul back then) held the coats of the people throwing the rocks. I believe that qualifies as harm.

I can think of two logical responses to this:

1. The tried-and-true "free will" response. This is the one that says that evil happens in the world because God gave us all free will and some of us use it for less than noble purposes. The problem here is that it only explains the presence of evil and how it could happen to good people if God didn't intervene. But He said He would. So I don't like that answer.

2. "It's part of God's plan." Great. God says He'll protect me, but only if it fits His plan. If that's true, shouldn't the verse read, "no harm will befall you... unless God wants it to"?

People are apt to use the verse, "God uses all things for good." That doesn't apply here at all because we're talking about promised protection not explanations for pain.

Is God's definition of "harm" so different than mine? Can that be it? Is my blood a small thing in the long run? Maybe. It would mean that the blood of the saints was a small thing, that their sacrifice did not cause them harm.

Do you want to know something? I want to believe that last one. I want to believe that the sacrifice of the saints didn't harm them. But it's so very, very hard. You know what it would mean to believe that, don't you? It would mean being able to see your wife, husband, brother, or sister lying bleeding in a ditch and, with tears running down your face, being able to tell them, "You are under God's protection." It would mean believing that as the words left your lips.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, I do not know the answer to the question I have posed, but I do know this. I know that our lives are not our own once we become Christians. Our lives belong to Christ in a deeper manner than a son belongs to a father or a wife to a husband. I know that He loved us enough to die for us. And so I have faith that no matter what harm comes to this body of mine, the Great Redeemer will never let me go, never let me slip into oblivion.

Questions and questions and so rarely an answer. As I said before, Christianity is a hard faith. Hard, but so very worth it.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Take a look at James 1:2-8. Maybe harm is not so much bad things happening as our attitude toward the bad things in life. Maybe it's just "all joy".

Just a probably not very satisfying answer. The Bible is the greatest mystery book every written.
jeff said…
Here's the dispensational answer to your question: Psalm 91 is written in anticiaption of two things: 1) The coming Messiah who is the only one able to fully life in God as He is God and He was carried through all of it to accomplish great good. These are the verses Satan was referring to in the temptation of Christ--the angels guarding Him.

2) There is also a look ahead to the coming kingdom when all will dwell in the perfect protection of the reigning Messiah--treading on the lion and the cobra is not a recommended way of life for right now cuz they'll kill you. But, when they are living under the shelter of the most high, in the Kingdom, all this will be true.

Until then, Romans 8 is probably more what you'll get, although God will graciously bestow on us goodness and protection from time to time. But all who live a godly life will suffer persecution. Romans 8 says keep looking forward to heaven, the full realization of the kingdom, when our struggles now are not worthy to be compared with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Psalm 91 is a beautiful promise for all those who are in God. This life sucks, get used to it and keep looking forward to heaven.

If that don't work for ya, good luck finding a satisfactory answer!
Tom said…
Pat,

Verses like the one you quoted help me deal with the question, but they really don't answer it for me.

Jeff,

You make a good point. I am, sadly, too much of a laymen to pick out the prophetic from the right-now in the Psalms. But I do wonder if the Psalmist didn't believe that he would be protected in the right-now. David certainly lived his life like he would be.
Anonymous said…
I realize this is belated and you put this out weeks ago, but I am slow... I can't remember if I played this song for you on the drive this weekend. but #2 of my friends CD was "I'm not walking alone." It may be, in part, a reflection of this Psalm. she says, "You never said it would be easy but you always said you'd carry me...in you I find my home...I am not walking alone."

I concur with the gentlemen above who mentioned our attitudes. The so often get in the way of our willing to continue to let the Lord work on us. Because frankly it is usually painful. You struggle well Tom. With each struggle the Lord continues to meet you and challenge you to let each experience change you.

San Fran impacted you and all of us on that trip. As we continue to struggle with the experiences and let them change our lives we honor the Lord we say we serve and those in San Fran who He used to shape us. ~D