I wanted to write something deeply philosophical today, but I'm not in the mood to philosophize. Instead, I give you, my faithful readers, 10 things about me that I feel like writing right now:
1. I grin every time I accelerate from a stop light on my motorcycle.
2. If I try really hard, I can suppress that grin into a wry smirk.
3. I smile (a flat-out, ear-to-ear, goofy-looking smile) during take-offs on airplanes. It’s the push-you-into-your-seat acceleration and the in-your-face-gravity-I’ll-fly-if-I-want-to defiance of natural law that makes me smile.
4. If I try really hard not to smile, I still smile like a moron during take-off. The people sitting next to me rarely share my enthusiasm.
5. When I was a small child, I was under the impression that Batman underwear would make me fly. It wasn’t until later that I realized that Batman doesn’t fly. I was heartbroken for many, many seconds.
6. I recovered quickly from the discovery that the greatest super hero ever wasn’t, strictly speaking, “super” because I also learned that he used the coolest gadgets ever devised by human minds. Thus my “jump from the carport roof with a blanket as a parachute” plan was born. Batman underwear may or may not have been an integral part of that plan.
7. I can’t remember if I actually ended up jumping off the carport roof with a blanket as a parachute. I can say with certainty that the laws of aerodynamics predict that said operation would have ended poorly.
8. I frown when I walk around by myself. I’m rarely upset, but I look like it.
9. I hate shopping. Just the thought of shopping makes me unhappy. This does not mean that I live a Spartan lifestyle. It just means that I’m unhappy while filling my house with junk that’s supposed to make me happy. Such is life in America.
10. I’ve never been greeted by a Wal-Mart greeter when shopping by myself. My theory is that this phenomenon is related to points 8 and 9.
1. I grin every time I accelerate from a stop light on my motorcycle.
2. If I try really hard, I can suppress that grin into a wry smirk.
3. I smile (a flat-out, ear-to-ear, goofy-looking smile) during take-offs on airplanes. It’s the push-you-into-your-seat acceleration and the in-your-face-gravity-I’ll-fly-if-I-want-to defiance of natural law that makes me smile.
4. If I try really hard not to smile, I still smile like a moron during take-off. The people sitting next to me rarely share my enthusiasm.
5. When I was a small child, I was under the impression that Batman underwear would make me fly. It wasn’t until later that I realized that Batman doesn’t fly. I was heartbroken for many, many seconds.
6. I recovered quickly from the discovery that the greatest super hero ever wasn’t, strictly speaking, “super” because I also learned that he used the coolest gadgets ever devised by human minds. Thus my “jump from the carport roof with a blanket as a parachute” plan was born. Batman underwear may or may not have been an integral part of that plan.
7. I can’t remember if I actually ended up jumping off the carport roof with a blanket as a parachute. I can say with certainty that the laws of aerodynamics predict that said operation would have ended poorly.
8. I frown when I walk around by myself. I’m rarely upset, but I look like it.
9. I hate shopping. Just the thought of shopping makes me unhappy. This does not mean that I live a Spartan lifestyle. It just means that I’m unhappy while filling my house with junk that’s supposed to make me happy. Such is life in America.
10. I’ve never been greeted by a Wal-Mart greeter when shopping by myself. My theory is that this phenomenon is related to points 8 and 9.
Comments
Response to #4: I'd smile with you.
Response to #9: Have you ever made a purchase that actually DID make you happy?