The Inevitable Return of Consumerism Day


It’s mid-November, and I believe you all know what that means. That’s right, it’s time for stores to start selling Christmas joy. I’ve written in the past on how I don’t really like the fact that Christmas has become a secular holiday dedicated to the promotion of a strong economy through the masses spending money beyond their means. Knowing that, you might assume that I’m about to write about that topic again.

Well, you’re right. Please join me for my 2nd annual “why-can’t-people-just-call-it-Spend-Too-Much-Money- to Celebrate-a-Holiday-With-Vaguely-Religious-Ties-Day” rant.

I was in Starbucks today (I live in the Seattle area, and I like to support my home-grown multi-national heartless corporation) when I saw an Advent Tree. For those of you unfamiliar with Advent, it’s an old Christian tradition starting about four weeks before Christmas. The details of the tradition vary (different regions, denominations, and families have their own ways to celebrate Advent), but the purpose is the same. The purpose of Advent is to prepare the hearts of the church to celebrate the birth of Christ.

Now that we all know what I mean when I say “Advent,” allow me to say again: I was in Starbucks today when I saw an Advent Tree. My first reaction was to smile. I thought to myself, “Self, it’s good to see a soulless, multi-national corporation provide people a way to prepare their hearts so that they can celebrate the birth of Christ properly.”

Then I thought to myself, “Self, doesn’t it strike you as odd that a soulless, multi-national corporation is selling anything that blatantly refers to one religion? After all, Muslims drink coffee too. And if Muslims can afford $5 for a cup of coffee, it stands to reason that Starbucks would want those $5.”

It was then, while in the midst of a bordering-on-multiple-personality-disorder conversation with myself, that I noticed something about the Advent Tree. The tree has twenty four boxes, each with a piece of chocolate inside. As you eat each piece of chocolate, you flip the box around, revealing a portion of a picture. While the number of boxes is a bit unorthodox (advent is a minimum of 28 days long), it was the scene that you reveal that made me stop smiling.

You see, the scene revealed through chocolate eating has nothing to do with Christmas (in the Christ Mass sense). It’s a picture of a little boy riding a polar bear. Cute, but not really applicable to a true Advent.

What bothers me is not that Starbucks is selling a winter themed excuse to eat candy and count down to secular Christmas. What bothers me is that they’re stealing Christian words to do it. Advent, in the context that Starbucks is using it, is a very specific word. It’s a very Christian word relating to a Christian holiday. (If you think I’m taking the word out of context, please look it up. Merriam-Webster’s number one definition for the word is essentially identical to the one I gave above.) It has absolutely nothing to do with adorable little boys riding adorable polar bears in an adorable wintery scene.

And now we’ve reached the part of my rant where I beg futilely for the world to change it’s ways (please imagine me on my knees with my hands up turned and a tear in my eye as you read this next paragraph).

To all those people out there who aren’t Christian and don’t care about Christians traditions but want to make some money off them anyway: Please stick to generic winter themes. When you misuse words, you make it harder for me to communicate because I constantly have to define words that had specific meanings before you started using them for your next profit-making venture. Please, please, please have compassion on a man who wants to be able to communicate clearly and concisely. I’ll even buy some of your winter themed count down to Consumerism Day products if you’ll leave my words alone.

Comments

Miss Awesome said…
I promise to try not to use Christian words to make money. And if I do, I promise to convert back to Christianity while doing so. That being said, I bet the chocolate tasted like crap anyways. They always do in those things.