An introduction to the author

There are times when I post on this site that I feel like a complete fraud. I feel like a hypocrite: an actor on a stage delivering lines that sound good but are ultimately useless. If my blog were about sports or politics or any topic other than what it’s about, I wouldn’t have that problem. But it’s not. What I’m writing about is God, Christ, salvation… walking that narrow path called Christianity in a world that stands opposed to all that Christ stands for.

I am, in short, sharing with you what I feel my Christian walk should be.

Please note the “should” in the preceding sentence. “Should” is as big a word as “if.” It carries with it potential for greatness (he should be the best quarterback in 20 years) and potential for guilt (he should have done so much better). Guilt, my friends, is a hammer. You can make things with a hammer. You can also bludgeon them out of existence, break them down until they are unrecognizable.

Today I feel like I’m on the bludgeoning end of the hammer because there is so much I should be and am not.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am not a very good Christian. I do not measure up to my own standards, I do not measure up to Christ’s standards, and it is only by the unthinkable grace of Christ that I know that I have the hope of eternal salvation.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am not like Christ.

There is a man that I walk by on my way to work every day. He sits on a concrete block next to the sidewalk and plays his harmonica with a topless milk jug at his feet for spare change. He says, “Hi, Motorcycle,” as I pass on some days.* I say, “Good morning.” I do not know his name. Not one cent in that milk jug is from me. I wonder if Christ would stop to talk to him.

On my way home from work, there is an elderly gentleman who hands out fliers. The words of Christ are printed on the fliers so close together that they become one, unintelligible block of text. I wonder why he stands there, day after day handing out the same fliers to the same people filing through the same gate. I do not know his name. The only words I say to him are, “No thank you” as I waive aside another flier for another day. I wonder if Christ would stop to talk to him.

There is an intersection in my town where there is always a homeless person standing with a hat asking for money. It’s a different homeless person every day, but my reaction is the same when I drive by. Instead of feeling the love of Christ for those people, I wonder if there’s some sort of sign-up sheet for that corner. “Larry, you get it over other Thursday, but Monica gets it weeknights through Lent.” I can be a horrible cynic. To my knowledge, Christ was not.

I could go on, but I guess I’ve made my point. I, Tom, the author of this site, am not a very good Christian. I am not asking for sympathy. I am not asking for comforting words. I want neither. What I am doing here is baring my soul for a moment so that I share what Christ means to me on this site without feeling like a complete fraud and, through sharing, maybe I can become more like Christ in the long run. Like I said, I’m not a very good Christian, but I’d sure like to be.

-Tom


*I ride my motorcycle to work. I don’t have saddlebags on my bike, so I wear my leather jacket and chaps on the walk to my office. I pass the man on that walk.

[A note from the author: For those curious, the picture is my dad's shadow. I thought it fit for reasons I'm not able to verbalize right now. Just thought you might like to know.]