In which I learn from pee

I have been a father for twelve days, twenty one hours, and three minutes as I type this. I haven’t really come to grips with the term “dad” yet. Partly because in his twelve days my son hasn’t learned to speak, and partly because I can be a little dense. Some things take time to settle.

The place I work has pretty liberal paternity leave, so I’ve spent the last few weeks hanging out with my son and my wife trying to figure out what normal looks like now that one of us can’t be left alone for any length of time.* In those short few days, I’ve learned a few things. That said, here’s the first thing my son taught me.

Lesson 1: Sometimes we make things harder on ourselves then they need to be.

My son does not like diaper changes. They make him cry. The running theory is that it’s because of the cold wipes or the cold air in the room on his nethers. Sometimes, while changing him, he’ll cry so hard that he starts peeing everywhere. Which means he has to be wiped down with cold wipes again, and his nethers have to spend more time outside the comfort of a fresh diaper.

I do that too. Not pee everywhere. I gave that up a while ago. Rather, I make things harder than they need to be. I’ll be in a meeting with an angry person, and I’ll get angry. That makes everything worse. Because two yelling people does not diffuse a situation faster than one yelling person. Or I’ll feel tired from sitting on the couch too long, and I’ll sit on the couch more. I know that exercise will make me feel better, but I don’t do it. Because, you know, exercise sounds tiring. Or I’ll be feeling spiritually detached, and I’ll stop reading my Bible because it didn’t seem to be helping. Which makes me more spiritually detached.

In short, I have a history of metaphorically peeing in my face. The pee, of course, is a metaphor for self-defeating actions. And I guess the diaper is the desired outcome. Which is odd, because I don’t really want to wear diapers. The analogy breaks down pretty quickly if you try to pick it apart like that.

Anyway, that’s my lesson for the day.

-Tom

*My son can’t. My wife is fine.