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| The bane of society |
You know who is causing all of society’s
problems? People. If it weren’t for people, we wouldn’t have any problems. But
getting rid of all people isn’t really a good solution because that means
getting rid of me. I’m important in this equation because of various reasons
that will remain undisclosed (hint: I like not being dead).
Since we can’t get rid of society to fix
society’s problems, the next universally accepted step is to blame a single
people group. The millennials are a popular target, so let’s blame them for
everything short of cancer. No… no, I want to blame them for that too.
Millenials cause cancer. You read it here first.*
Since I’m blaming the millennials for
all of society’s woes, I may as well define who they are. That way you can aim
your hate beams and anger guns appropriately. The shuffling horde of smart
phone users we call millennials is defined as people born between the years of
1981 and 1996. They should not be confused with people born before 1981
(identifiable by their confusion when confronted by technology) or people born
after 1996 (identifiable by their confusion when you try to describe a “newspaper”).
And what are millennials doing?
According to the internet, they are selfish people who are too emotional and
who feel they should have all of the best stuff without any of the backbreaking
work necessary to obtain that stuff. In short, they are entitled narcissists.
And since a society founded on entitled narcissism ends in tears and fire and
ashes, the millennials are the root of the problem of society’s ills.
Done. I’m glad we had this talk.
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| Guilt-turkey goes great with the you-did-this-to-me wine |
But now I’m wondering who we blame for
the millennials' problems. Because an entire generation didn’t just get born
wanting to be entitled narcissists. They were taught that. By you or your parents, probably. I’m
not saying millennials are the sinless victims here. They’re all old enough to
be responsible for their decisions and to be held accountable for their
actions. They have big boy and big girl pants (or jeggings or utilikilts or
whatevers) that they can put on. I’m saying that if we’re doling out guilt, we
need to do this family style. Everyone needs to pull a chair up to the table
and dig into the guilt-turkey and blame-stuffing. We have made a feast, my
friends. Come bask in the bounty of our problems.
And while I’m offering seats at the society-is-broken
feast, does anyone else find it strange that we’re trying to heap the sum total
of society’s ills on one people group? Does that make anyone else nervous? Cause
it feels wrong to me. That thought
pattern removes blame from the blamer. It makes the problems of the
world someone else’s problem. But we are all someone else’s someone else.*** We
are all part of the problem. And we can all be part of the solution.
What if we found that instead of a group of entitled narcissists, it turns out that millennials are really just people. With faults, sure. But with good features too. With new eyes to look at problems and come up with new, hopefully better, solutions. With potential to see the world not as a train in the act of wrecking, but as the dynamic, interconnected, messy, but potentially jaw-droppingly-wonderful place that it is.
My dad used to tell me that I’m
responsible for my actions. That I can really only control me. And that I
should try to make the me I am the best I can be. If we all did that. If we all
spent more time making ourselves less selfish and less rage-filled, I
think we would find society would get remarkably better remarkably fast.
Or we could blame the millennials. You
know, whatever. I’m easy.
With love,
Tom
*This statement has not been verified by
the FDA. This article is not medically licensed and may use hyperbole for
comedic effect.**
**The effectiveness of the comedy in
this article has not been verified by the FDA. Do not consume this article orally
as that may result in damage to your electronic device.
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