It was as it should be

I went to a wedding today, and it was at it should be.

The bride is a friend of mine. Back in the day, she talked me into being a chaperone for the church’s high school mission trip to San Francisco. That trip was responsible for me starting into youth ministry way back when I first started this blog in two-thousand-and-something. Long enough ago that the students I taught are adults now, grown and married. She gave me a gift way back then, the gift of a ministry that allowed me to serve my God in a real, tangible way. So I owe her something for that.

I do not know the groom well. I’ve spoken to him a few times. Went on a weekend camping trip with them and another couple. But a weekend camping trip with my two small children is more marathon than sit-and-chat. What I learned from those experiences, what I sensed, was a complimentary piece. A man who brings with him strengths to match her lacks and lacks to match her strengths. Enough threads of common ground in the middle with which to make that grand tapestry we call a marriage.

My friend waited a long time to get married, to find the man that would be her partner on the adventure of life. And I suppose it was hard for her to wait as long as she did, but it feels like it was worth it. That the man she found in the waiting was worth the time. More than that. That the time spent was not wasted in waiting but spent in forming. That the woman she is, the woman that fits so well with that man, is the result of those years.

When the bride walked down the aisle, resplendent in white, beaming in countenance, I was struck by all of the above. All that I owe her. How well they fit. The timing of it all. And I found that it was as it should be.

And I saw her dad, wide smile, eyes lit from the inside, glowing with joy, toes barely touching the ground, overcome with the moment. And that was as it should be as well. I talked to her mother, a strong and confident woman, a force of nature with a ready smile, and I saw exhaustion and joy and fulfillment and the sort of alcohol-free intoxication that comes with extreme emotions. And that was as it should be.

My wife was the wedding director, but I prefer the term conductor. She readied the players and set in motion the grand production that is a wedding. I found myself watching her from across the room, drifting from person to person, smiling, directing, cajoling, prodding. All behind the scenes, all in the shadows, all so the wedding looked seamless and effortless to the casual observer.

After it all, when the guests were gone and the church locked up, I sat with her and the friends that prepped the food, listened to them talk about their successes and frustrations. Watched them revel in the warm feeling of a job well done. And that, too, was as it should be.

I saw a friend get married today. And it was as it should be.